LED Flashlight Lantern
My first chapter of Broken?Do you think it's good?On a scale 1-10?
Chapter one-lost
I spun around carefully stepping on more twigs and dried up leaves. I was lost in the woods. Carelessly I kicked the tree with the foot I didn't kick the tree with I hopped up in and,the kicking foot tingled. I moaned. Why did I even come out at two in the morning!It was a careless mistake forgetting my lantern or a least a flashlight. Well now look where that got me now! Stuck in the snow covered woods. "Hello! Anyone?"I called,not giving up. I spun around again.
"Hi,I'm Owen,"A voice said from behind.
"Hi,can you help me?"
"Sure,why not!"
His mouth inches from my throat.It spilled out a wonderful smell. Owen took my hand and led me through the woods. My older brother stood on the porch."Brooke!Brooke!"
"Oh boy,I'm going to be in big trouble."He smiled,"Then I'll be in your room,He whispered,and he was gone just like that. I'm only eleven and everybody says it's good.
Hiya. Well as I am 12 the same age as you I think I can give you good advice because we both know how people our age can write and we both have an interest in writing (lol probably doesnt make sense but ah well)
Okay I'm gonna critisize you a bit here. I am writing a book too and I was a bit worried about the chapter length. I'm trying to imporve it currently and soo should have it up to about 2000 words. Yeah... 2000... in one chapter. I mean depending on what lenght of book you want its okay to have shorter chapter but this would only fill up.... I'd say about a quarter to half a page. Come on girl! I'm sure you can write a bit more than that! 
Secondly.. well some parts dont make sense like the other people said. I think you could improve it by making the sentences a bit more decriptive and just reading over them to make sure they made sense. Also in a few places you need a space just to space it out more.
It is quite good and you have obviuosly put a lot of effort into making it sounds good but you need to describe it more and stuff. I'm gonna give it a five. Okay? But you can make it much better and it is quite good already
Rainier history tours kick off
This year’s performances of Shadows of the Past will debut Saturday at Mount Rainier National Park.
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